A Whole Lot Of Nothing...

Lessons With Luis

2010-05-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

Please check out Lessons With Luis. You can see more of his videos here.

2010-04-29T03:55:00.000-07:00

'Front Pew'

'Reachable Dream'

'Righteous Do'

'Simply Cinnamon'

A lot of people will hate Gentlemen Broncos... But Jennifer Coolidge's 'Decent Beginnings' designs are reason enough for me to love it.

Its been a good year for horror.

2009-12-08T04:50:00.000-08:00

No one ever suspects the butterfly!

2009-10-09T02:59:00.000-07:00

BOOYAH!

2009-09-19T07:22:00.000-07:00

Oh you know I can't let you go...

2009-08-04T07:05:00.000-07:00

Who knew a quick explanation of eggs could be so touching...

If you haven't seen Sugar, you should definitely check it out!

2009-07-22T19:06:00.001-07:00

Have you ever seen so many actors slumming it?

2009-07-06T23:01:00.000-07:00

Smiley Face Stare Down

2009-06-17T04:32:00.000-07:00

Possibly the most ridiculous suspense scene I've ever seen...

Emails can be so terrifying.

Counter Intelligence

2009-06-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

So I finally finished my animation for uni... Below is the end result.

Counter Intelligence from Joel Curran on Vimeo.

Top Five of... Dollhouse Season 1

2009-05-11T22:34:00.000-07:00

So Dollhouse just wrapped up it's first season (and hopefully not it's last).

Here are my Top Five (spoiler free) moments of Season 1.

Episode 2 - "Ill give you a 5 minute head start."

Episode 5 - "I see perfectly."

Episode 6 - Why Sierra cries at night.

Episode 6 - Dewitt leaves a message.

Episode 12 - "Alpha."

I hope Fox gives this show a chance, since there were some great setups left in the season finale that I would love to see what they do with.

Top Five of... Breaking Bad Season 1

2009-05-05T21:59:00.001-07:00

So I've been watching a whole lot a great TV lately, and thought a good idea would be to post my Top 5 moments of a particular season of a show after I'm done watching it. We'll see how long I stick with it, but first off the bat is Breaking Bad Season 1 (possibly one of the greatest shows of the last 10 years).

Post's will be spoiler free!

Episode 1 - Walter grows some balls.

Episode 2 - Jesse learns about Hydrofluoric Acid.

Episode 4 - Ken Loses.

Episode 5 - The talking pillow.

Episode 6 - 'No more bloodshed. No more violence.'

Brilliant show and cannot wait to start watching season 2.

2009-05-05T06:17:00.000-07:00

Who saw this coming?

My Top 10 Films of 2008

2009-05-03T00:19:00.000-07:00

So I completely forgot to post my favourite films of 2008, so here they are

(better late than never).

1. There Will Be Blood

As I mentioned on my best of list last year, There Will Be Blood would be making an appearance this year since it was release in February 2008 here in Australia. Not only is it the best film of the year, its one of my favourites of the last decade. Daniel Day Lewis gives one of the best performances I've ever witnessed. Utterly brilliant.

2. Wall-E

In a perfect world, every film released would be made by Pixar. Mind-blowingly incredible from start to finish, and the fact that Pixar created some of the most likable characters of the year, and that they happen to be robots is a testament to their abilities. They are 9 for 9 so far (I don’t consider Cars a bad film, no matter what anyone tries to say), and cannot wait for Up this year.

3. The Wrestler

When the first images from this film were released, my expectations dropped quite considerably. There Mickey Rourke was, in his bright skin tight shorts and long bleached hair, and I had no idea how Aronoski would be able to pull it off. But he did. Equal parts funny and moving, without being too over the top with either, and Mickey Rourke knocks the role it out of the park.

4. The Dark Knight

The most exhilarating movie experience in years. From the opening scene, this film grabs a hold of you and doesn't let you go for the entire run time. It's everything you could want from a superhero film. But all that has already been said countless time before.

5. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Another film released early in the year in Australia, but has stayed with me since seeing it. A beautiful film thats based on a story that seems to unbelievable to be true. Both completely depressing and uplifting at the same time.

6. The Visitor

I had no expectations for this film other than I like Richard Jenkins and was a big fan of Thomas McCarthy’s previous film The Station Agent. But god I loved this film. Manages to be about something important without ever preaching, and features incredible performance from all involved.

7. Boy A

I saw this at the Melbourne International Film Festival knowing little more that it was inspired by the Jamie Bulger case in 1990. I was blown away at just how good this film was. Andrew Garfield does such an incredible job in the lead role, which makes you question whether people deserve a second chance. It may have been made for television in the UK, but it’s a moving as any film you’ll see.

8. In Bruges

The film that will restore faith in Colin Farrel. Who knew a film about hanging out in Bruge could be so awesome?

9. The Orphanage

I would like to take this opportunity to welcome back classy horror! The Orphanage is a film that is beautiful to look at, features an amazing lead performance by Belén Rueda, yet still contains enough scares to rival any other horror film released. Please Hollywood, stop with the endless remakes and torture porn and follow Spain’s example.

10. Burn After Reading

No one does comedy like the Coens. Sure, it’s not up there with their best films, but even their lesser films are still brilliant. Fast paced, witty, well acted, and everything you come to expect and more from the Coen Brothers.

Honorable Mentions

Man On Wire

Transsiberian

Paranoid Park

Not Quite Hollywood

Iron Man

The Band's Visit

2009-04-21T16:23:00.000-07:00

The Rembrandts? Really?

FYI

2009-03-29T03:08:00.000-07:00

Benita from Playschool is in Knowing.

Funny stuff.

2009-03-27T19:08:00.000-07:00

Surely he should be expected to return his Oscar after letting this happen?

"Oh, he didn't know..."

2009-03-24T04:36:00.000-07:00

Oh how I love this movie.

Stay cool Bret

2009-03-13T04:28:00.000-07:00

The Conchords still got it.

2009-03-06T05:01:00.000-08:00

A quick reminder that the French Film Festival is on at the moment in capitals cities around Australia. Caught Un conte de Noel, and it was pretty damn amazing.

2009-03-04T18:16:00.000-08:00

Further proof Nicole Kidman is one of the greatest actors working today.

My Worst Films of 2008

2009-02-20T02:07:00.000-08:00

1. The Happening

The worst film of 2008, hands down. Mark Wahlberg can be great in the right film, but Shyamalan makes him, and Zooey Deschanel look ridiculous as they struggle to make his shocking dialogue sound even remotely believable. Some of the deaths are interesting, but in context of the film they don’t really make sense. Why would a toxin make someone go to all the trouble of setting up a ride on mower to run over them? And why would tame Lions in a zoo rip apart their handler? But that’s just skimming the surface. This is the film that has put the final nail in M Night Shyamalans already nailed shut coffin.

2. The Love Guru

Remember when Mike Myers was funny? Sure has been a long time since Wayne’s World and So I Married An Axe Murderer. Here Myers manages to make a creepier character than he did in The Cat In The Hat. Worst still is not a single 'joke' in the film is funny. Let’s see if Tarantino can restore some faith later in the year.

3. Meet The Spartans/Disaster Movie

Read what I wrote about Epic Movie last year, and substitute relevant (?) films where necessary. These 'films' were so awful they don't even deserve individual spots.

4. The Mummy 3

Was this really necessary? Some awful effects (Exhibit A - the 'Yetis' in the picture above), poorly directed action sequences and the worst performance of Maria Bellos career (and the worst performance of all the Mummy series – which is quite an achievement!). And Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh are completely wasted.

5. Prom Night

The original is campy fun, this remake barely has a pulse. The film has no problem killing off nearly all its cast, but won’t show just one drop of blood? Features some of the stupidest characters in slasher history, and is possibly one of the worst horror remakes made.

6. Rambo

So the moral to the film is that peace solves nothing, and violence can only be prevented with more violence. That, and some of the most awful dialogue leaves me wondering why this film has so many fans (enough to give it a 7.4 rating on imdb).

7. Saw 5

And here is the annual Saw film making an appearance. Fortunately it’s not the worst in the series (that would be the 3^rd film), but I couldn’t make any sense of the plot and the ending was beyond ridiculous.

8. What Happens In Vegas

Want to watch a film where Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher play themselves and be obnoxious to each other? Trust me, you don’t. What worse is the overly sappy ending that is completely at odds with the rest of the film.

9. Vantage Point

So the point of this film is to see the film from each character ‘vantage points’, yet over and over the character sees something that is withheld from the audience. Doesn’t the defeat the purpose of the films gimmick? Aside from that, the whole film is ridiculously over the top, and is essentially a big advertisement for Sony products.

10. The Day The Earth Stood Still

It was probably the most appropriate time for this remake to happen, but this was the bet they could do? Slickly made, but where's the plot? And Jaden Smith gives one of the worst performances of the year.

Notable Mentions:

Big Stan

Forbidden Kingdom

Jumper

X-Files: I Want To Believe

You Don't Mess With The Zohan

Potentially Bad Films I Didn't See:

10,000BC

The Women

Twilight

Mamma Mia

2009-02-17T17:43:00.000-08:00

Forget your Dark Knights, your Wall-Es, your Sally Hawkins and your Bruce Springsteens... This was the biggest 2008 Oscar snub.

'Appearances...can be...deceptive...'

2009-02-17T15:23:00.000-08:00

I miss Disney's afternoon television.

2009-02-10T19:26:00.000-08:00

They really don't make em like they used to...

You prefer alien love!

2009-02-09T17:02:00.001-08:00

Quick Internet Search Part 6

2009-02-06T17:57:00.000-08:00

Final Destination 2

How do you let people know what happened in the first film, and explain why the main star, Devon Sawa, hasn't returned for the sequel? You get a policeman to access info!

The 5 Most Overrated Films Of 2008

2009-02-06T04:59:00.000-08:00

Not the worst films of the year, just films that for the most part were lavished with praise that I just didn't understand.

(in alphabetic order)

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL

Sure, it was funny... But one of the best reviewed films of the year?

FROST/NIXON

Quite enjoyed Frost/Nixon, but it really wasn't that memorable besides Langella's performance. And certainly not memorable enough to warrant 5 Oscar nominations. What's worse is the best scene (when Frost gets the upper hand) is given away in the trailer!

MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS

Style over substance in the truest form. Looks beautiful, as you would expect from Wong Kar-Wai, but there was nothing else that I found particularly interesting about it.

SWEENEY TOOD

Released early in 2008 in Australia, and I'm still disappointed by this film. Great art direction and cinematography, but those alone can not make up for the average singing and unmemorable songs (and when its a musical, somethings wrong).

WANTED

Early buzz from this film was great, which got my hopes up, and overall reviews were pretty positive (especially for an action film) but after watching Wanted I wondered whether I had seen the same film. It's a mess of a film that throws so many ridiculous ideas (bomb rats?prophetic loom? regenerating wax baths?) and nothing really sticks.

Agree? Disagree?

The 5 Most Underrated Films of 200

2009-02-06T00:40:00.000-08:00

Not the best films of 2008, but films that deserve more credit than they received.

(in alphabetical order)

CLOVERFIELD

Maybe I'm just a sucker for disaster movies but I really enjoyed Cloverfield and feel it lived up to the hype created since the teaser trailer hit. Sure all the actors are unrealistically gorgeous, but the actors made these characters somewhat likable so I can forgive that. But who cares about characters when the effects are so awesome! You see just enough of the monster to be scared but not feel ripped off.

THE MIST

I don't care what anyone says, the ending is amazing. Apart from that, the film is one of the most tense I've seen in a long while thanks to a great villainous turn by Marcia Gay Harden. And while I ago some of the effects are a bit dodgy, for me it just adds to the B-Grade fun!

PARANOID PARK

I am not a fan of skateboarding, and can think of much better things to do than watching a film about it. But Paranoid Park is more than just a skate movie (as you would expect from Gus Van Sant) and seemed to be forgotten about once Milk came along.

THE RUINS

In a year when lame remakes such as Prom Night, The Eye, Shutter and Mirrors can all so solid business, it was a shame when genuinely scary and original horror films such as The Ruins and The Mist fail. The Ruins features great effects, great performances and just the right amount of gore.

SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES

Great family film released earlier in the year and is mostly forgotten about now. Some great creature effects and a pretty damn amazing performance by Freddie Highmore (as twins who you'd swear were two different actors). Mark Waters did a great job with this fun adventure film.

Agree? Disagree?

Damn you True Blood!

2009-01-30T05:10:00.000-08:00

And The Oscar Should Have Gone To...

2009-01-16T03:06:00.000-08:00

2009-01-09T06:16:00.000-08:00

Without a doubt, one of the best performances of 2008.

Why so much hate?

My Favourite Albums of 2008 (according to iTunes)

2009-01-04T01:55:00.000-08:00

So I bought 42 albums in 2008 (36 of which were actually release in that year). For the fun of it, I averaged out the star ratings for each album to see which album I had (unintentionally) ranked the best. Here is the top 10.

1) Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

Average iTunes song rating - 4.63

Standout song - While pretty much all the songs are great on this album (hence its high rating), I can't go past 'I Stand Corrected'. Close runner ups are 'M79', 'Oxford Comma' and 'A-Punk'. I also understand this is a love it or hate it album, but I loved it from the get go.

2) MGMT - Oracular Spectacular

Average iTunes song rating - 4.60

Standout song - The moment I heard 'Kids' was the moment I knew I needed this album. But again, all the songs on this album are great. A rare album with indie cred that broke through to the mainstream and was actually one of the highest selling albums of the year.

3) Late Of The Pier - Fantasy Black Channel

Average iTunes song rating - 4.41

Standout song - 'Space and the Woods' is so bloody great, if you haven't heard it jump on

youtube on have a listen! An album that gets better the more you listen to it. Regardless of what my iTunes ratings say, this would be my favorite album of 2008.

4) Empire Of The Sun - Walking On A Dream

Average iTunes song rating - 4.25

Standout song - First single 'Walking On A Dream' is pretty brilliant, but Tiger By My Side is my favorite song on the album. In my opinion, the best aussie album of 2008, and better that anything PNAU and The Sleepy Jackson have done.

Also - awesome cover art!

5) The Presets - Apocolypso

Average iTunes song rating - 4.09

Standout song - This Boys In Love. Beams was a good album. It had a few great songs, and some not so memorable songs, but Apocolypso is all brilliant. My favourite song changes back and forth from This Boys In Love to A New Sky, but it was This Boys In Love that sealed the deal for me, and give singer Julian Hamilton a tune to really show off his vocals.

6) We Are Scientists - Brain Thrust Mastery

Average iTunes song rating - 4.09

Standout song - After Hours is such a great song, and sure to be a drinking anthem for many (well maybe not if you read more into the lyrics). We Are Scientists are yet another duo to make it on my list.

7) Van She - V

Average iTunes song rating - 4.08

Standout song - Changes. This album was such a surprise. I bought it off the strength of the song Stranger which had a heavy rotation on Triple J, and was surprised to find the rest of the album was just as good, if not better! Looking forward to more from these guys.

8) Santogold - Santogold

Average iTunes song rating - 4.00

Standout song - LES Artistes is Best Song of the Year material. I got the album mid year, but didnt really give it a good listen until the end of the year. Pretty stupid huh? At least I finally found out what everyone else was going on about...

9) The Dodos - Visitor

Average iTunes song rating - 4.00

Standout song - Fools. I can see this album being an acquired taste, but I love the craziness of this CD. The make an incredible amount of noise from the guitar-drum setup, and it's amazing to think its just from two guys.

10) Sparkadia - Postcards

Average iTunes song rating - 4.00

Standout song -Jealousy.

Another surprise quality

Australian album, with catchy

melodies and great harmonies. And how great is Alex Burnetts voice?!

Also scoring high include TV On The Radio's 'Dear Science', Flight Of the Conchords self titled album/soundtrack, Black Kids' 'Partie Traumatic' and Bon Iver's 'For Emma, Long Ago'.

What has Julia Ormond done to herself?

2008-12-30T02:28:00.001-08:00

This show just keeps getting better and better...

2008-12-16T03:16:00.001-08:00

2008-12-15T05:36:00.000-08:00

My favourite part of watching Mad Men is the handful of scenes involving Joan. But she isn't in it nearly enough...

Joel's Top 20 Favourite Actresses

2008-12-13T00:36:00.000-08:00

I've never actually been tagged to do one of these by someone, so when Glenn at Stale Popcorn tagged me, I thought 'why not?'

Below are my top 20 favourite actresses, and the stills come from my favourite performances from said actresses.

Joan / Cate / Ellen / Patricia / Holly

Catherine / Nicole / Laura / Frances / Julianne

Michelle / Catherine / Parker / Kristin / Meryl

Kathleen / Naomi / Sigourney / Rachel / Kate

"It's coming from inside the house..."

2008-12-12T01:58:00.000-08:00

Megan Good had a bad year.

2008-12-08T03:50:00.000-08:00

The Love Guru

Saw V

One Missed Call

All three are good enough for Razzie consideration.

"What the fuck is your problem?!"

2008-12-07T16:26:00.001-08:00

Oh how I love this movie.

Our 48HFP Film Is Now Online

2008-11-25T02:50:00.001-08:00

Click here to watch it, and give it a rating while you're there!

Quick Internet Search, Part 5

2008-11-15T17:02:00.000-08:00

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Someone knows what these girls did last summer, so they 'access the local library online' and 'cross reference and pull up everything we need to know'.

"They live in the sticks. What do you think?"

"What have we got to lose?"

Your friend has just been hospitalized after being run over by the guy, I think you have plenty to lose!

Underrated Part 2

2008-11-11T00:38:00.001-08:00

Highwaymen
2003

Director: Robert Harmon

Plot (from imdb)
Rennie Cray embarks on a bloodthirsty rampage to avenge the death of his wife who was struck down by a serial killer - a man who hunts and kills women using his '72 El Dorado.

What’s the deal?
I have no idea what tempted me to watch this film. The cover, while not terrible, is fairly generic, and Caviezel isn’t really an actor I appreciate. Maybe it was Rhona Mitra’s ‘talents’ that made me pick it up…

Anyway, Highwaymen is the kind of taut B-grade film you would expect from the director behind the cult 1986 road movie The Hitcher. The film is about a serial killer who uses his car as his weapon (Death Proof anyone?). Caviezel is the widow of a previous victim who has devoted years on getting revenge, and Mitra is a the only known survivor of the killer, who teams up with Caviezel to survive. Again, nothing that special plot wise, however the film (running about 80 minutes) is – to quote an over used poster cliché – a non stop thrill ride!
The killer is played By Colm Feore, and he makes for a great baddie. Do you remember the last film with a villain in a wheelchair who was scary??

Unfortunately, it appears critics disagree with me – sits on about 13% on Rotten Tomatoes – but I don’t care. I was pleasantly surprised by this film, and if you feel like fast paced road movie that doesn’t outstay its welcome, then check this film out.

Underrated Part 1

2008-11-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

Serial Slayer aka Claustrophobia
2003

Director: Mark Tapio Kines

Plot (from imdb):
A serial killer armed with a crossbow pistol is murdering people from their own rooftops. When three young coworkers at a poorly-attended slumber party start hearing footsteps on the roof, they fear the worst.

What’s the deal?
Firstly, I have to say the cover to this DVD is possibly the worst I’ve ever seen. The front cover looks like

the designer just searched Google images (that is not the house from the film, and that is not the killer from the film), while the back cover art is even worse. Listed are the three (semi) well known actresses – Sherri Rappaport, Mary Lynn Rajskub and Melanie Lynskey. Like a lot of low budget films, they list the actors and show a picture to help sell the movie. Unfortunately next to Rajskub’s name is a low quality picture of Rappaports body (not even her face!). Poor form from the guy who designed it. But back to the movie itself. The film itself looks pretty cheap and actually looks cheaper than a $110,000 budget should (my guess is most of the money went to the actors), but that kind of works for it.

What surprised me most was the tension that runs through the film. Hearing those footsteps on the roof genuinely creeped me out and the three lead actresses managed to make the whole thing believable.

Sure it’s not a brilliant film, a lot of these underrated films won’t be, but it deserves a chance to be seen despite the misleading cover-art.

I love this show.

2008-10-21T22:07:00.000-07:00

Quick Internet Search, Part 4

2008-10-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

Teeth

Dawn's vagina has already bitten off the penis of her friend that attempted to rape her (the guys in this film are all lovely, by the way), so she jumps online to find out what the hell is going on down there!

Thanks to Glenn at Stale Popcorn for this one.

Q - What is the worst performance on Australian Idol ever?

2008-10-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

Clue: It doesn't involve any of the contestants...

A -

2008-10-05T05:07:00.000-07:00

Tell me why must you hide
That love, that love you got inside
Its been buildin up so long
And that feelings oh so strong.
So baby...

Shoot your love all over me..
drown me in a milky sea!
Its you and I for eternity

When i looked at you baby
I see a man full of spunk
But what good is it to me locked away in that trunk
I don't need more roses
No that would be just reckless
The gift i want from you,
Is my very own Pearl Necklace

Just one of the many songs from Melissa Cherry, a Britney Spears-like singer in The Onion Movie. The film is surprisingly funny.

2008-09-30T00:34:00.000-07:00

Anyone have any interest in this film? I certainly don't, especially if it's anything like 'The Pursuit Of Happyness'.

I Love This Little Guy

2008-09-24T03:25:00.000-07:00

2008-09-21T05:57:00.000-07:00

The first point on my Ten Ways To Know You're Watching A Bad Film is "A character says the the titles of of the film at the end."

I present to you the last line of the film Awake.

"He... Is... Awake..."

Bravo!

The Quick Internet Search, Part 3

2008-09-14T16:53:00.000-07:00

The X-Files: I Want To Believe

One of the sub-plots in the latest X-Files film had Sculley trying to save a kid from a brain disease. The only way to save him is by Stem Cell therapy. The following is a scene in which Sculley does some "research".

Such thorough research for a doctor. And she surfs like a pro!

Prom Night: H20

2008-09-11T01:45:00.000-07:00

Now thats just lazy...

2008-09-10T05:45:00.000-07:00

The Worst End Title Of A Film. Ever.

2008-09-09T21:34:00.000-07:00

2008-09-09T03:18:00.000-07:00

I hated her in the beginning. Now I think she's great!

The Quick Internet Search, Part 2

2008-09-02T05:12:00.000-07:00

So not long ago, I posted what was possibly the funniest use of the "quick internet search" technique that some films use to quickly (read lazily) let a character find out information.

Today, I came across another film to do the same thing (although, not as bad), so I decided every time i see a a film do this, I'll post it on here.

Reservation Road

He then decides "we might need some help". Well your not going to find it on google...

The Worst Character Interaction Committed To Film

2008-08-30T05:44:00.000-07:00

So I attempted to watch Rambo tonight, and got about 12 minutes into the film when I witnessed this dialogue between Rambo and Sarah (Julie Benz).

John Rambo: Why'd you come back?

Sarah: Waiting for you.

John Rambo: I told you before, I can't help you.

Sarah: Well we need to go and help these people, we're here to make a difference, we believe all lives are special.

John Rambo: Some lives, some not.

Sarah: Really? If everyone thought like you, nothing would ever change.

John Rambo: Nothing does change.

Sarah: Of course it does! Nothing stays the same.

John Rambo: Live your life cause you've got a good one.

Sarah: It's what I'm trying to do!

John Rambo: No, what you're trying to do is change what is.

Sarah: And what is?

(Silence)

John Rambo : Go home... Go home...

I'm sorry, what?

Reason 229 To Hate M Night Shyamalan

2008-08-05T22:49:00.000-07:00

Regular Pupils

Heart Shaped Pupils

Don't believe me? how about a close up?

She is so happy with her pregnancy, that her pupils turned love heart shaped... No one else noticed this except me?

wow

2008-08-04T18:52:00.000-07:00

This is one of the most amazing performances I've seen for a while.

Andrew Garfield is incredible in John Crowley’s Boy A and I hope it gets a regular cinema release in Australia.

You still have a chance to catch this incredible film at MIFF this Thursday 5 August at 7.00pm at the Greater Union Cinema.

The Funniest 2 Minutes Of TV

2008-07-13T00:08:00.001-07:00

MIFF 2008

2008-07-12T23:18:00.000-07:00

MIFF is here again, and I'm trying to work our what I'll be able to see this year.

Here are a few that I might end up seeing.

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

Inside

Donkey Punch

Persopolis

Downloading Nancy

The Horseman

There is also the Ozploitation section including great films such as Roadgames, Razorback, The Long Weekend and Dead End Drive, as well as a retrospective of Geroge Romero who will be here for the festival!

One Of The Worst Screen Villains Ever

2008-07-10T00:03:00.000-07:00

"An ice palace can be such a treacherous place."

One Of The Greatest Screen Villains Ever.

2008-07-09T05:54:00.000-07:00

"You don't mock me..."

Bad dialogue, thats what.

2008-07-05T03:13:00.000-07:00

So I saw The Happening about a week ago (for free, luckily) and what amazed me was how bad the dialogue was. Like laugh out loud bad. Does M Night Shyamalan actually think people talk like this?

So for your reading pleasure, here are some of the worst pieces of dialogue in a big budget Hollywood film.

Alma talking to a 10 year old kid -
"We're so much the same, Jess. I don't like to show my emotions either."

A nutcase nursery owner on his love for hot dogs -
"We're packing hot dogs for the road. You know, hot dogs get a bad rep. They gotta cool shape, they got protein. "

Alma talking to the guy she ate tiramisu with -
"You have got to stop calling me. You're acting like the Fatal Attraction guy here. I feel like I'm going to take a shower and see your silhouette on the shower curtain!"

Alma talking to Elliot about the colour of the mood ring on their first date -
"But then we checked the little paper chart and it turned out that it meant that I was horny. You loved that. "

Elliot trying to think -
"I need a second okay? Why can't anybody give me a goddamn second?! "

The convenient explanation as to why Alma and Elliot didn't die -
"The event must've ended before we went out today."

The terrible way the title is worked into the film -
"Can this really be happening?"

2008-06-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

I've always said that one of the give away moments that tell you that you're watching a bad film is the moment one of the characters does an internet search and finds the exact explanation they're looking for. "I Know Who Killed Me", one of the worst films of the 21st century has one such scene.

2008-06-15T20:09:00.000-07:00

The result of 14 weeks of very hard work

My Top 10 Films Of 2007

2008-05-04T05:07:00.000-07:00

It's a little late, but here is my final Top 10 of last year:

1) Zodiac

David Fincher can do no wrong. Yet another quality serial killer film, a complete opposite though to his last attempt, Seven. Superbly acted, beautifully shot and tense when it needs to be. Where were the oscar noms??

2) No Country For Old Men

The Coens are back to their best, with this incredibly enjoyable crime film. Everything slots into place to make a film that you can't help but have a huge grin on your face all the way through. A worthy oscar winner.

3) Ratatouille

Another year, another fantastic Pixar film. Apart from the great animation, it's Pixars writing that sets them apart from the rest. It's so clever, and oddly moving, something I never thought I'd say about a film about rats!

4) Little Children

Released in 2006 in the US, and at the start of 2007 in Australia, this was an early frontrunner for my favorite 07 film. Thought provoking, and surprisingly funny.

5) Pans Labyrinth

Another film released at the start of 2007 in Australia. A beautiful adult fairy tale by genius film maker Guillermo Del Toro.

6) The Darjeeling Limited

I didn't expect to like this film. I didn't mind The Life Aquatic, but I didn't think it was nearly as good Anderson's other films, and I assumed this would the case for Darjeeling too. So what an amazing surprise it was that I loved this film. The three leads were great, visually its amazing and a brilliant soundtrack too.

7) Hot Fuzz

The best comedy of the year. Sure it goes too long, but thats almost a joke in itself. This is the way parody films should be done, with wit, great acting and a love of the subject matter.

8) This Is England

Another film that I didn't expect to live up to the hype. But there is no denying how fantastic and powerful this film is. Shane Meadows always seems to produce quality dramas with a n edge, and this is no exception.

9) Once

Its a simple story, simply directed and performed brilliantly by its actors. The best musical of the year.

10) Half Nelson

Another simple film that amazes thanks to the performance of Ryan Gosling. There have been so many inspirational teacher films over the years, but none have been as poignant as Half Nelson. And has the most perfect ending too.

Notable Mentions:
The Lives Of Others - Tense and thrilling to watch. If I had have re-watched it again recently it may have just made it on the top 10.

Michael Clayton - Such a clever film, with amazing performances all round. And the last 10 minutes of this film gave me goosebumps.

Noise - An incredible Australian film, the best since Chopper.

Atonement - As unromantic as a romance film gets. And all the better for it. Its what Cold Mountain should have been.

Potentially Good Films I Didn't Get To See:
Into The Wild

Control

Assassination Of Jesse James

Away From Her

Worth pointing out:

There Will Be Blood would easily be number 1 on the list, but it was released in Feb 08 here, so won't appear until my next top 10 list.

My Very Own Funniest Home Video

2008-04-10T23:07:00.000-07:00

Girl Getting Hit By A Branch During A Storm from Joel Curran on Vimeo.

Wanderlust - Bjork

2008-04-04T21:54:00.000-07:00

It's always a good day when a new Bjork video clip is released. Her video clips are the most consistently great of any performer both old and new.Wanderlust is no exception. The clip is directed by Encyclopedia Pictura (and if you've seen their clip for Knife by Grizzly Bear, you know it'll be something special).

Watch it here.

I Switched On The TV Today, And Days Of Our Lives Was On.

2008-03-23T20:19:00.000-07:00

“So we should just forget about how he shot John, and then cut out his kidney? And how he tried to kill Max and Stephanie on the racetrack?”

How ridiculous!

2008-03-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

Paul thinks I'm sexy.

Thanks Paul.

SYTYCD US > SYTYCD AUS

2008-03-16T23:18:00.001-07:00

The Australian version is alright, but there is no comparison to the US version.

Horrible People

2008-03-16T23:09:00.000-07:00

My new obsession.

One Of The Most Surreal Things I've Ever Seen On TV

2008-03-14T03:46:00.001-07:00

Wait for the money shot at 00:50

Laura Who?

2008-03-12T01:30:00.000-07:00

A siting on imdb.com

Sure the poll is still going, but 19.6% don;t know who she is? And the next highest answer is Love Actually?

How about some love actually for her great performances - The Squid and the Whale? Mystic River? You Can Count On Me? Kinsey? Breach? PS? Jindabyne?

Im guessing people voted for Love Actually simply because they knew the film...

My Worst Films of 2007

2008-02-29T19:06:00.000-08:00

1) Epic Movie

A collection of poor re-creations of films that range from X-Men to Borat, all of which are unfunny and embarrassing for all involved. Can someone please tell the makers of these films that if your planning to make a spoof of epic films, at least stick to epic films to parody. Nacho Libre is NOT an epic movie! This should have been the final nail in the coffin, but alas, Meet The Spartans just came out and looks even worse.

2) Norbit
This is probably a worse film than Epic Movie, but at least they tried with a plot. Unfortunately, said plot is absolutely terrible. Eddie Murphy again plays multiple characters but unfortunately none of which are likable. The only reason this isn’t number 1, is because unlike Epic Movie, at least they wrote a semi-cohesive script, and employed Rick Baker to do some good make-up.

3) Perfect Stranger
Surely Halle Berry needs to hand back her Oscar now? After Catwoman, Gothika, Die Another Day, and now this, I would be insulted if I was a member of the academy. I’ll admit though, I really enjoyed watching this film because of how bad it is. And they filmed four endings, and that was the best one?!

4) The Number 23
What a mess of a film. Flashes back and forward mixing dream and reality sequences (I think), that adds up to a big waste of time. Jim Carrey can do serious (just look at Eternal Sunshine and The Truman Show), but in the hands of Joel Schumacher he is terrible. Add in a cliché twist and Virginia Madsen slumming it and The Number 23 should be avoided at all costs.

5) Because I Said So
This so called comedy is like watching an episode of The Gimore Girls on speed. But even that would be funnier than this garbage. Diane Keaton is so unlikable in this film and her character is really over the top and unbelievable. I didn’t think she could get more annoying than she was in Something’s Gotta Give, but she proved me wrong.

6) Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer
The trailer for it actually looked like they got it right. It looked like they learnt from the first films mistakes and made an epic special effects bonanza. In reality, the film was even worse than the original. The effects were embarrassing (the stretch dance scene a low point), Jessica Alba looked ridiculous, the action scenes are anti-climactical, and there wasn’t even a proper villain! To say I’m not looking forward to the Silver Surfer spin off is an understatement.

7) Halloween
Michael Myers is an unstoppable evil killing machine. At least he was until Rob Zombie decided this was because he got picked on at school, his mother was a stripper, his step father used to yell at him, and his sister wouldn’t take him trick-or-treating. All valid reasons to snap and slaughter every one in sight? Some remakes of the classics work (Dawn Of The Dead, Texas Chainsaw Massacre), but it seems if Zombie had of filmed a movie of him pissing on a print of the 1978 film it would have been more respectful to the original than this pathetic excuse of a film.

8) Ghost Rider
Lame effects, terrible story, pathetic villains, ridiculous accents and bad hair styling make a comic book film so bad it rivals Daredevil and Elektra for quality.

9) Saw 4
It wouldn’t be a ‘worst of’ without an appearance from a Saw film. While it was an improvement on the last outing (and number 1 worst film of 2006), it’s still a terribly made and pointlessly confusing horror film. I hate the fact that these films rake in the money, while great horror films such as The Descent, Wolf Creek, The Signal and many more, struggle to find an audience.

10) I Know Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
Embarrassing for all involved. Including the audience who paid to see it. It was bad enough when it starred Paul Hogan and Michael Caton, now replaced by Adam Sandler and Kevin James. One of the most unfunny and unintentionally (discuss) homophobic films in recent memory.

Notable Mentions:

Premonition - A terrible thriller saved only by the presence of Sandra Bullock.

Next - An average action film, with one of the worse cop out endings of all time.

License To Wed - Irritating beyond belief, but instantly forgettable.

Potentially Bad Films I Didn't Get To See:

Good Luck Chuck

Bratz

Daddy Day Camp

Happily N'ever After

Death Sentence

Rush Hour 3

I Know Who Killed Me (not released in Australia yet)

My Most Hated Songs Of 2007

2008-02-15T02:09:00.001-08:00

I did this last year and thought I'd do it again. Here are the 10 songs that drove me crazy in 2007.

10.9.
8.7.
6. 5.
4. 3.
2. 1.

10. “Into The Night” by Santana feat. Chad Kroeger (reached #4 on the aria charts) -

I don’t have any real problem with Santana, I do, however, have a problem with Chad Kroeger. There is just something about his warbles that makes me feel queezy. And what is with his hair in the video clip? Did he straighten out his perm?

9. “Beautiful Liar” by Shikira and Beyonce (reached #5 on the aria charts) -

This just feels like a way to make a quick buck. Two successful pop singers come together to try to out sing each other at each chance. And didn’t Brandy and Monika sing pretty much that exact song about 10 years ago

8. “I Feel In Love With A DJ” by Che'nelle (reached #62 on the aria charts) -

Seems like someone was paying radio stations a lot of money to flog this song, because I heard it quite a bit on commercial radio but it only reached #62 on the ARIA Charts. The song, by an Australian knock off of Rihanna, has very little tune, embarrassing raps and is painfully repetitive.

7. "Turn Me Loose" by The Young Divas (reached #15 on the aria charts)

The four girls have good voices, but it's getting a bit old, Divas... How many trashy disco covers can one girl group release? What's worse is the bargain basement video clip. White background, mirrored rooms, and writhing - all spell class, don't they? And the song is capped off by a terrible out of place rap by some guy called Savage.

6. “Destination Calabria” by Alex Gaudino (reached #4 on the aria charts) -

One of my most hated type of song is a generic dance song with a generic female vocal. And while I don't know if I would go as far as to call either of these generic for this song, it comes painfully close. Another song played to death by commercial radio, even when its popularity waned. And I still get cold shivers when I hear that terrible saxophone hook...

5. “Smack That” by Akon (reached #2 on the aria charts) -

A world without Akon is a world I want to live in. I don't think he is talented at all (he brought out that bloody chipmunk 'Lonely' song for christ sakes!). Here he sings another tired song about smacking 'that'. The only thing more annoying than the song, is the first 15 seconds of the video clip.

4. “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie (reached #1 on the aria charts – it was the highest selling single this year) -

First time I heard it, I thought it was a disastrous mistake for Fergie to release this. Just shows you how well I know music buyers in Australia. In my opinion, Fergie's voice is much better suited to strong loud pop (her Black Eyed Peas songs. London Bridge) or breathy (Glamorous). Her voice doesn't fair well in a power ballad. She tries for the big notes, but it just doesn't sound right. And the painful 'jamming with her band' film clip adds to the falseness. But hey, as I said before, what do I know?

3. “I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker” by Sandi Thom (reached #1 on the aria charts) -

Number 1 for 2 months! What is wrong with people? A simple song with ridiculous lyrics and for some reason, people ate it up. At least she is a one hit wonder and we'll never have to hear from her again.

2. “Lips Of An Angel” by Hinder (reached #1 on the aria charts) -

Oh swoon! It's a rock ballad about a guy singing to his girlfriend... Or not... Did anyone bother to listen to the lyrics? He is CHEATING ON HIS GIRLFRIEND! Almost as bad as that 'pants around your feet' song.

1. “Beautiful Girls” by Sean Kingston (reached #1 on the aria charts) -

My most hated song of 2007. Lazy composition (they did nothing to the original tune - Stand By Me) and Kingston's voice is computerized to death. Suicidal? You and me both...

There is a god!!!

2008-02-02T21:55:00.000-08:00

http://www.worstpreviews.com/headline.php?id=7444&count=0

2008-01-30T04:36:00.000-08:00

Big Day Out Highlights - Melbourne 2008

Triple J's Hottest 100

2008-01-26T05:22:00.000-08:00

Glaring omissions!
Where is LCD Soundsystem??
Where is Simian Mobile Disco??
Only one Arcade Fire song??
Only one Klaxons song??
And Drop The Phone by Shy Child didn't get in??

At least Cold War Kids made it to number 8! And Kaiser Chiefs, MIA, The Presets and The Panics made it into the Top 20...

1 Muse Knights of Cydonia
2 Silverchair Straight Lines
3 Kings Of Leon On Call
4 John Butler Trio Better Than
5 Faker This Heart Attack
6 Foo Fighters The Pretender
7 Daft Punk Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (live)
8 Cold War Kids Hang Me Up To Dry
9 Soko I'll Kill Her
10 Panics, The Don't Fight It
11 Bluejuice Vitriol
12 Wombats, The Let's Dance To Joy Division
13 Kaiser Chiefs Ruby
14 Muscles Ice Cream
15 Powderfinger Lost And Running
16 Gyroscope Snakeskin
17 M.I.A Paper Planes
18 Presets, The My People
19 Architecture In Helsinki Heart It Races
20 Kanye West Stronger
21 Chemical Brothers The Salmon Dance
22 John Butler Trio Used To Get High
23 White Stripes Icky Thump
24 Bloc Party Hunting For Witches
25 Urthboy We Get Around
26 Hilltop Hoods Recapturing The Vibe (Restrung)
27 Operator Please Just A Song About Ping Pong
28 Silversun Pickups Lazy Eye
29 Regina Spektor Real Love (Like A Version)
30 Silverchair If You Keep Losing Sleep
31 Angus & Julia Stone Wasted
32 Kisschasy Opinions Won't Keep You Warm At Night
33 Kings Of Leon Fans
34 Feist 1234
35 Justice D.A.N.C.E
36 Architecture In Helsinki Hold Music
37 Cold War Kids Hospital Beds
38 Beautiful Girls I Thought About You
39 Cut Copy Hearts On Fire
40 Bloc Party I Still Remember
41 Modest Mouse Dashboard
42 Tegan And Sara Back In Your Head
43 Lupe Fiasco (Feat. Matthew Santos) Superstar
44 My Chemical Romance Teenagers
45 Angus & Julia Stone The Beast
46 British India Tie Up My Hands
47 Cog What If
48 Bloc Party Flux
49 Arctic Monkeys Fluorescent Adolescent
50 Cat Empire So Many Nights
51 Missy Higgins Peachy
52 Kisschasy Spray On Pants
53 Missy Higgins Steer
54 Klaxons Golden Skans
55 John Butler Trio Good Excuse
56 Xavier Rudd Better People
57 Midnight Juggernauts Into The Galaxy
58 Muse Invincible
59 Fratellis Chelsea Dagger
60 Kings Of Leon Charmer
61 Birds Of Tokyo Wayside
62 Cat Empire No Longer There
63 Karnivool The Only Way
64 Shins, The Australia
65 Editors Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors
66 Powderfinger I Don't Remember
67 Amy Winehouse Rehab (feat. Jay-Z)
68 Ben Kweller Penny On The Train Track
69 Digitalism Pogo
70 Tegan And Sara The Con
71 Butterfly Effect Reach
72 Jose Gonzalez Down The Line
73 Grinspoon Black Tattoo
74 British India Run The Red Light
75 Kasabian Shoot the Runner
76 Muscles Sweaty
77 Operator Please Get What You Want
78 Arctic Monkeys Brianstorm
79 Josh Pyke Lines On Palms
80 Silverchair Reflections Of A Sound
81 Arcade Fire No Cars Go
82 Foo Fighters Long Road To Ruin
83 Wolfmother Pleased To Meet You
84 Chemical Brothers Do It Again
85 Yeah Yeah Yeahs Down Boy
86 Midnight Juggernauts Tombstone
87 Jackson Jackson Eliza
88 Cops The Message
89 Queens Of The Stone Age Sick, Sick, Sick
90 Clare Bowditch & The Feeding Set When The Lights Went Down
91 Josh Pyke Sew My Name
92 Waifs, The Sun Dirt Water
93 Bumblebeez Dr Love
94 Radiohead Jigsaw Falling Into Place
95 Regina Spektor Samson
96 Ben Lee Love Me Like The World Is Ending
97 Josh Pyke Forever Song
98 Interpol The Heinrich Maneuver
99 Hives, The Tick Tick Boom
100 Pnau Wild Strawberries

Apes and Androids

2008-01-25T17:20:00.001-08:00

Apes and Androids "Blood Moon" has finally been released and its a corker!

Just don't buy it on itunes like I did, where they'll charge you $21US as opposed to the $10-$15 you can get it for through their website www.apesandandroids.com
I'm not upset I paid more for it though, it's definitely worth it!

The 5 Most Under Rated Films of 2007

2008-01-23T19:59:00.001-08:00

(in alphabetical order)

BLACK SNAKE MOAN

While Tarantino and Rodriguez were busy making there tribute to grindhouse and exploitation films in Death Proof and Planet Terror, Craig Brewer managed to create an authentic exploitation film without any of the knowing winks and references. Unfortunately the film, while it received good reviews, was largely ignored. Which is a shame because Black Snake Moan is such a cool film. It's got violence, drugs and a whole lot of sexuality that you expect from a good exploitation film, as well a brilliant blues soundtrack and a trio of great performances from Samuel L Jackson, Justin Timberlake, and an incredible Christina Ricci

BREACH

Slow moving sure, but a brilliant 'based-on-a-true-story' thriller that came and went without receiving the fanfare it deserved. It's a shame neither Chris Cooper nor Laura Linney received oscar noms for their support work here too.

Director Billy Ray also made the underrated 2003 film Shattered Glass, that is also worth tracking down.

MEET THE ROBINSONS

After the dire Chicken Little, I was skeptical at how Disney's second non-pixar CG animation would turn out. I avoided it at the cinemas, and waited over 2 months to see it after it came out on DVD. So I was amazined when it turned out to actually be great! The animations great (which should go without saying), but its the story and script that really make this shine. Its full of ideas, great characters and while films with a strong family message usual irritate me beyond belief, it actually moved me in this film. All of which means I'm not so against seeing Disney's next solo CG effort Bolt out later in the year.

PERFUME: THE STORY OF A MURDERER

Seems like if you've read the book, you hate the film. Me, having not read it,could not understand why so many people didn't love this film. And I think they did a really good job transferring a book about scent into visuals.

SUNSHINE

Where did this film go? One minute it was one of the most hyped up films of 2007, and then it got released and no one cared. Sure its not perfect (its schizophrenic last third lets it down a bit), but its a beautifully looking film with effects that are surely some of the best of 2007.

My Oscar Predix

2008-01-22T03:22:00.000-08:00

Two hours before the oscar nominations are announced, I though I'd try my hand at predicting them -

Best Picture

Atonement

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Juno

No Country For Old Men

There Will Be Blood

(Alt - Into The Wild)

4/5 (Choose Diving Bell over Michael Clayton)

Best Director

Paul Thomas Anderson - There Will Be Blood

The Coens - No Country

David Fincher - Zodiac (ok, this wont happen. But maybe if I type it, it will)

Sean Penn - Into The Wild

Julian Schnabel - Diving Bell

(alt - Tony Gilroy - Michael Clayton)

3/5 (Fincher and Penn out, Reitman and Gilroy in - I picked Gilroy as a alt, but that doesnt count!)

Best Actor

George Clooney - Michael Clayton

Daniel Day Lewis - There Will Be Blood

Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd

Emile Hirsh - Into The Wild

Viggo Mortenson - Eastern Promises

(alt - Ryan Gosling - Lars and the Real Girl)

4/5 (Hirsh out, Lee Jones in!)

Best Actress

Julie Christie - Away From Her

Marion Cotillard - La Vie En Rose

Angelina Jolie - A Mighty Heart

Laura Linney - The Savages

Ellen Page - Juno

(alt - Amy Adams - Enchanted)

4/5 (Jolie surprisingly out, Blanchett in!)

Best Supporting Actor

Casey Affleck - Assassination Of Jesse James

Javier Bardem - No Country

Hal Holbrook - Into The Wild

Phillip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilsons War

Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton

(alt - John Travolta - Hairspray)

5/5 (the easiest category)

Best Supporting Actress

Cate Blanchett - Im Not There

Jennifer Garner - Juno (I had to throw another surprise in there)

Saiorse Ronan - Atonement

Amy Ryan - Gone, Baby Gone

Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton

(alt - Ruby Dee - American Gangster)

4/5 (Garner out, my alt Dee in)

Original Screenplay

Juno

Knocked Up

Michael Clayton

Ratatouille

Waitress

(alt - The Savages)

3/5 (Knocked Up and Waitress out, Lars and the Real Girl and The Savages in)

Adapted Screenplay

Away From Her

Diving Bell

Into the Wild

No Country

There Will be Blood

(alt - I really want Zodiac to get nom'd here)

4/5 (Wild out, Atonement in - stupid me)

Razzie Nominations/Predictions

2008-01-21T00:23:00.000-08:00

The razzies were announced today, and unlike the oscars where the favorite can change every week, the razzie winner are pretty much decided when the nominees are announced. Which is why I've predicted the losers already.

Worst Picture

Bratz
Daddy Day Camp
I Know Who Killed Me
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Norbit

Who will lose - Norbit

Possible upset - Daddy Day Camp

Worst Actor

Nicolas Cage -GHOST RIDER, NATIONAL TREASURE 2 and NEXT
Jim Carrey -THE NUMBER 23
Cuba Gooding, Jr. - DADDY DAY CAMP and NORBIT
Eddie Murphy (as Norbit) - NORBIT
Adam Sandler - I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY

Who will lose - Eddie Murphy

Possible upset - Cuba Gooding Jr

Worst Actress

Jessica Alba - AWAKE, FANTASTIC FOUR 2 and GOOD LUCK CHUCK
Logan Browning, Janel Parrish, Nathalia Ramos & Skyler Shaye - BRATZ
Elisha Cuthbert - CAPTIVITY
Diane Keaton - BECAUSE I SAID SO
Lindsay Lohan (as Aubrey) - I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
Lindsay Lohan (as Dakota) - I KNOW WHO KILLED ME

Who will lose - a tie between Lindsay Lohan and herself (if I know the Razzies as well as I think)
Possible upset - Jessica Alba

Worst Supporting Actor

Orlando Bloom - PIRATES OF THE CAROB-BEAN: AT WIT'S END
Kevin James - I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY
Eddie Murphy (as Mr. Wong) - NORBIT
Rob Schneider - I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY
Jon Voight - BRATZ, NATIONAL TREASURE 2, SEPTEMBER DAWN
AND TRANSFORMERS

Who will lose - Eddie Murphy (again)

Possible upset - a tie between Rob Schneider and Kevin James

Worst Supporting Actress

Jessica Biel - I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY and NEXT
Carmen Electra - EPIC MOVIE
Eddie Murphy (as Rasputia) - NORBIT
Julia Ormond - I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
Nicolette Sheridan - CODE NAME: THE CLEANER

Who will lose - Eddie Murphy (well the film did cost him an oscar, why not reward him with 3 awards)

Possible upset - N/A

Worst Onscreen Couple

Jessica Alba & EITHER Hayden Christensen - (AWAKE) OR Dane Cook - (GOOD LUCK CHUCK) OR Ioan Gruffudd - (FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER)
Any Combination of Two Totally Air-Headed Characters - BRATZ
Lindsay Lohan & Lindsay Lohan (AS THE YANG TO HER OWN YIN) - I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
Eddie Murphy (as Norbit) & EITHER
Eddie Murphy (as Mr. Wong) OR Eddie Murphy (as Rasputia) - NORBIT
Adam Sandler & EITHER Kevin James OR Jessica Biel - I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY

Who will lose - Tough one, but i'm going to go for Eddie Murphy for Norbit

Possible upset - Lindsay Lohans

Worst Remake/Rip-off

Are We Done Yet? - (REMAKE/RIP-OFF of MR. BLANDINGS BUILDS HIS DREAM HOUSE)
Bratz - (A RIP-OFF IF EVER THERE WAS ONE!)
Epic Movie - (RIP-OFF of EVERY MOVIE IT RIPS OFF)
I Know Who Killed Me - (RIP-OFF of HOSTEL, SAW and THE PATTY DUKE SHOW)
Who's Your Caddy - (RIP-OFF of CADDY SHACK)

Who will win - I Know Who Killed Me

Possible upset - They may want to punish the makers of Epic Movie or Bratz.

Worst Prequel/Sequel

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
Daddy Day Camp
Evan Almighty
Hannibal Rising
Hostel: Part II

Who will lose - Daddy Day Camp

Possible upset - Hostel 2 (although I dont think it deserves it)

Worst Director

Dennis Dugan - I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY
Roland Joffe - CAPTIVITY
Brian Robbins - NORBIT
Fred Savage - DADDY DAY CAMP
Chris Siverston -I KNOW WHO KILLED ME

Who will lose - Fred Savage (he's famous)

Possible upset - Brian Robbins

Worst Screenplay

Daddy Day Camp
Epic Movie
I Know Who Killed Me
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Norbit

Who will lose - Epic Movie (there was a screenplay??)

Possible upset - Norbit

Worst Excuse For A Horror Movie

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
Captivity
Hannibal Rising
Hostel: Part II
I Know Who Killed Me

Who will win - I Know Who Killed Me (its a tough field!)

Possible upset - Captivity

Losers announced February 23rd

The 5 Most Over Rated Films Of 2007

2008-01-14T03:14:00.000-08:00

(in alphabetical order)

Firstly, I should mention that these are not the worst films oft he year, just films that for the most part were lavished with praise that I just didn't understand.

BEOWULF
Even in 3D this didn't impress me. Essentially feels like an expensive video game that you have to sit and watch someone else play. And why Ray Winstone was hired to voice a Nordic viking is beyond me.

DREAMGIRLS
Sure it's flashy and shot nicely, but did it have to be so cliche? What's more, the acting didn't impress me much either and it's capped off by and ending that doesn't seem to go anywhere.

PARIS, JE T'AIME
Sure there were a couple of good shorts in this, but most were pretty painful, and it wasn't until Alexander Payne's last effort that we actually got to see a brilliant one. Worst of the bunch - tie between Vincenzo Natali's over the top vampiric "Quartier de la Madeleine" and Wes Cravens attempt at Oscar Wilde in "Père-Lachaise"

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS
Nearly every thing about this film annoyed me. From its smug cameo ending, to its "cute" spelling mistaken title. I usually like Will Smith, but not so much in this.

WAITRESS
I didn't hate Waitress, I just didn't think it was all that great. Keri Russell was charming, but it was sloppily made and just not that funny. Plus, The Good Girl did it better a few years ago.

Let's Make A Band

2008-01-08T03:40:00.000-08:00

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

You then take the pic and add your band name and the album title to it, then post your pic.

Via JD

2008-01-06T04:33:00.000-08:00

Looking at imdb.com today, I came across this -

So 'One Missed Call' is going to be called 'Don't Pick Up the Cell Phone'?? I don't know where to start...

Flight Of The Conchords

2007-12-30T01:52:00.000-08:00

I love this show. And this song is just one of the reasons.

Quick Review - Atonement

2007-12-26T19:18:00.000-08:00

Atonement

Director:
Joe Wright (Pride & Prejudice)

Story:
Fledgling writer Briony Tallis, as a 13-year-old, irrevocably changes the course of several lives when she accuses her older sister's lover of a crime he did not commit.

What I Liked About it:

All the acting is superb. Keira Knightly won me over, and has a great chemistry with James McAvoy, while 13 year old Saoirse Ronan definitely holds her own amongst the older cast.
I think Romola Garai is really underrated in this film. She had a difficult role in the film, and was just as good as the other cast who have been getting more attention.
The first third of the film, where we see scenes from multiple points of view is so well done. I kind of wished that we just stayed there for the whole film!
Cinematography by Seamus McGarvey proves he can do classy period films as well as commercial blockbusters (World Trade Center, Sahara, Along Came Polly)
The score by Dario Marianelli is brilliant, one of the best I've seen this year. I hope it picks up best score at the Oscars.
Even though a lot of people who I've spoken too disagree, I loved that last scene.

What I Didn't Like About it:

After the brilliant first third, I don't think the rest of the film could match how great those scenes were.
I didn't enjoy the Vanessa Redgrave scenes that much.

The Verdict:
A beautifully crafted film that will be a big player when the Oscars roll around. A near perfect film that keeps you hooked until the end.

Star Rating (out of five):
**** 1/2

Quick Review - No Country For Old Men

2007-12-15T22:47:00.000-08:00

No Country For Old Men

Director:
The Coen Brothers (Fargo)

Story:
Violence and mayhem ensue after a hunter stumbles upon some dead bodies, a stash of heroin and more than $2 million in cash near the Rio Grande

What I Liked About it:

As with most Coen Brothers films, its so well written. The dialogue is brilliant, the story adds a new twist to the 'on the run with stolen money' plot, and the flow of story is great.
There is not one bad performance in it. Javier Bardem is surely a shoo-in for Best Supporting Actor at the Oscars, and Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin (who usually irritate me) are excellent.
There are so many great, memorable scenes. The shoot out in the hotel followed by the chase down the street is the best, but it's pretty hard to pick.
It looks great. Cinematography by regular Coens collaborator Roger Deakins looks beautiful, from the serene opening shots of the sun rising in Texas, to watching blood slowly spill over floor boards. Someone, please give this guy the Oscar he deserves!
People actually said at the end of the film 'you're kidding!' about the slightly anti-climatical ending. I actually think it worked really well. After an intense 115 minutes, the quiet ending works a treat.
Dances the fine line between suspense and humour, as the Coens best films do.
Actually, everything in this film is great. I could go on forever.

What I Didn't Like About it:

There just isn't anything bad to say about this film.

The Verdict:
Brilliant in every way. This is the best film of 2007. See it now.

Star Rating (out of five):
*****

Make Them Stop!

2007-12-15T22:34:00.001-08:00

A Note To The General Public

2007-12-11T01:59:00.000-08:00

Those natural rock deodorants don't work. So if you plan to go out in public (or sit next to me in a cinema), please shower or use real deoderant before you do so.
Thank you.

Quick Review - Beowulf (3D)

2007-12-11T01:23:00.000-08:00

Beowulf (3D)

Director:
Robert Zemeckis (Forrest Gump)

Story:
The warrior Beowulf must fight and defeat the monster Grendel who is terrorizing towns, and later, Grendel's mother, who begins killing out of revenge.

What I Liked About it:

Its been said before, and that's that i look amazing (especially in 3D).
Every scene in which Beowulf fights are great, with the final Beowulf vs Dragon fight being the highlight of the film.
Angelina Jolie plays a great villian. And her 'nude' scenes dont hurt either.
One piece of music (by Alan Silvestri), is really cool. Its call "The Seduction", and is basically Jolies' theme music. Althought it does kind of sound life the music in Tomb Raider (the game).

What I Didn't Like About It:

The film, suprisingly, really drags. There are long, boring scenes sanwiched between the action, and I nearly fell asleep.
Although technically brilliant, they still can't replicate humans with motion capture. The come close with Angelina Jolie, but thats only because she's supposed to look surreal.
It sometimes feels like a video game.
I found it really distracting having Ray Winstone doing the voice of Beowulf.
What was the obssession with Beowulf stripping all the time? And why did he need to be nude when fighting Grendal?

The Verdict:
Looks good, the 3D is cool, but its actually a pretty boring film. A couple of thrilling scenes, but there is too much wasted time showing how nice the animation is. And I dont care what they say about the improvements since The Polar Express, the characters still look creepy.

Star Rating (out of five):
** 1/2

Quick Review - Waitress

2007-12-07T00:22:00.001-08:00

Waitress

Director:
Adrienne Shelly

Story:
Jenna is a pregnant, unhappily married waitress in the deep south. She meets a newcomer to her town and falls into an unlikely relationship as a last attempt at happiness.

What I Liked About it:

Keri Russel is actually pretty good in it, and very likable.
There is a great chemistry between Russel and Nathan Fillion, who plays her doctor/lover.
Jeremy Sisto plays the abusive jerk husband well. And the running joke of him constantly beeping is pretty funny.
The pies look amazing! You will be very hungry after seeing it.

What I Didn't Like About It:

I found the editing really sloppy. It either cuts away too song or not soon enough,
Tries too hard to be quirky. Oooh, he makes up improv poems! Ahhh, the owner likes to make up horoscopes!
Its fairly predictable stuff and not a film that will stay with you after the credits roll.

The Verdict:
While its not a bad film, sure to please people after some light fluffy entertainment, it's possibly the most overrated film Ive seen this year (its one of the best reviews films this year - 89% on rottentomatoes.com!). It's good, but I prefered the similarly themed The Good Girl with Jennifer Aniston.

Star Rating (out of five):
***

Quick Review - Rescue Dawn

2007-12-06T23:39:00.000-08:00

Rescue Dawn

Director:
Werner Herzog (Grizzly Man)

Story:
A US Fighter pilot's epic struggle of survival after being shot down on a mission over Laos during the Vietnam War.

What I Liked About it:

Christian Bale is fast becoming one the greatest actors of this generation. His performance (and weight loss) make this film rise above the average POW film.
Steve Zahn proves he can be great in the right film. While he appears in absolute garbage like Evil Woman, National Security and Bandidas, occasionly he'll be great in a film like this or Shattered Glass.
Has a really nice look to it, as though it was actually made in the 70s. The direction by Herzog and cinematography by Peter Zeitlinger is first class.
The escape is thrilling stuff.
Great to see a war film without the overload of special effects and loud explosions going off every minute.

What I Didn't Like About It:

Really didn't like the end. It felt like a tacked on ending that was WAY too cheesy and felt at odds with the rest of the film.
Jeremy Davies. But then, I hate him in everything.
Its not exactly a story you havent seen before. Guy goes to war. Guy gets captures. Guy sent to prison camp. Guys escapes.
Jeremy Davies.

The Verdict:
Looks great, and Bale and Zahn give great award-calibre performances. Its a shame the ending falls into cliche hollywood stuff. Oh, did I mention I hate Jeremy Davies?

Star Rating (out of five):
****

Quick Review - Halloween (2007)

2007-12-06T15:50:00.000-08:00

Halloween

Director:
Rob Zombie (The Devil's Rejects)

Story:
After being committed for 17 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution (where he was committed as a 10 year old) and he immediately returns to Haddonfield, where he wants to find his baby sister, Laurie. Anyone who crosses his path is in mortal danger.

What I Liked About it:

Scout Taylor-Compton, while no Jamie Lee Curtis, did a pretty good job as Laurie.
When the film is copying the original (sometimes shot for shot), it kind of works.
There are a couple of jump moments.
It's good to hear the Halloween theme again.

What I Didn't Like About It:

Devoting the first third to Michaels back story ruins any mystery around him. His parents swore a lot and he got picked on - big shit!
There is no suspence with the killings at all. He simply grabs a victim, stabs them and keeps going. Would it have killed Zombie (pun intented) to throw in a good chase somewhere?
The film is FULL of plot holes. Examples - How does a guy whose been in an asulym for 15 years know how to drive? How does he know who his sister is? How does he know where she's babysitting or where her parents live? How can he duct tape someone to a chair without them waking up?
Casting an ex-wrestler as Michael Myers was a BIG mistake. Most of the time, seeing him shuffling around or without the mask is comical.
I have no idea when this is set. Characters wear retro clothes, guys sport 70s style haircuts, but mobile phones and modern cars are used.
Zombie overuses the classic Halloween theme, especially in the first third of the film. It felt like someone had just bought the original soundtrack and used as many tracks as possible in very unappropriate times.
It's so annoyingly directed. Waving the camera all around the place doesn't create tension.

The Verdict:
Thanks Mr Zombie, for ruining one of the best horror films in history.

Star Rating (out of five):
* 1/2

What is wrong with the AFI?

2007-12-06T04:48:00.000-08:00

Romulus, My Father beat out Noise for best film? Are you kidding me?

The AFI has a history of rewarding the wrong film. Here is a sample -
2005 - Look Both Ways won best picture over The Proposition and Wolf Creek (which wasnt even nominated)
2003 - Japanese Story won best picture over Gettin' Square and Alexandra's Project
2000 - Looking For Alibrandi won best picture over Chopper.
1989 - Evil Angels won best picture over Dead Calm and Ghosts...Of The Civil Dead

2007-12-03T02:07:00.000-08:00

I won tickets to see Beowulf! Which is great, cos I was never going to pay to see it...

2007-11-30T02:22:00.000-08:00

Tobias: I should call the Hot Cops and tell them to dress up as something more nautically themed. Hot sailors maybe. Or better yet, hot sea-
Michael: I like hot sailors.
Tobias: Mmmm, me too.

I miss that show...